This aging crap sucks. There are lots of silly little platitudes or aphorisms or WTFs floating around out there to kind of inform you to SUCK IT UP, Seniorgirl, cause there's more to come and none of it is pretty but that's kind of comical until the day that you stand up after a thoroughly enjoyable session of deleting all the damn spam and your hip twinges and your right leg won't hold and you'd better hope there's a sturdy chair to grab before you end up in a howling comma on the floor. Seriously.
Or, you're Skyping, in a really tentative way, since you don't really understand the technology, and you're talking to someone you used to have a crush on, back at the dawn of time, when you trucked around NYC in ballet slippers and black tights, and suddenly the picture part gets activated and there you are, in all your wrinkled glory, beaming like a demented hyena, showing all those man-made teeth and you want to pretend that the wrinkly in the picture is your grandmother, lalala, but you can't pull it off and your voice gets pathetic, quavery.
Have you visited this country yet?
How about sitting at the kitchen table, hours before the sun might be scheduled to make an appearance, inky coffee cooling in a travel mug, crossword puzzle half done (it's Tuesday - no sweat) and dogs begin barking around the neighborhood and you freeze, convinced that your elderly cat, the one with hacky hairballs who likes to walk the back fences has misstepped into the slavering jaws of a neighboring pit bull and you can't relax until he ambles down the back path, coughing all the way?
Did you think like that when you were in your 40's?
Or then there's getting ready to leave the house, which you don't really want to do, come to think of it. Tight shoes and pants that more or less fit? But you've promised, so you go. Check all the accessory necessities: watch, cell phone (because you never remember that the cell phone also tells time but you can't see it in the daylight anyway) wallet with medical cards and driver's license, which you need to take, maybe, because what if??? What if you got dizzy in the subway and fell down and had no identifying materials with you? Would you end up with a toe tag marked "Jane Doe 1228"? Who would know to search for you at the downtown morgue?
All this fun!
